Being RC’s Son- Living in the Shadow of Love

It isn’t at all unusual, when I am scrolling through twitter to see someone tweet some version of this simple but poignant idea- I miss RC. These are people who, like me, benefitted from his teaching and were charmed by his way. I, on the other hand, also miss my dad. I miss him as dad.

Other people, on the other hand, have from time to time, looked for imagined dirt. Some have even imagined they have found it. Some years ago, while he was still with us, I received a private message from someone asking if it were true that my father had secretly adopted some heretical idea and that my relationship with him was strained because of it. Such was what he had been told. Of course my father had no secret views. Neither, I would argue, did he have any heretical views. And, finally, my relationship with him was never in the least strained.

Many have wondered over the years how we avoided strain. After all, we did, from time to time, disagree. Perhaps harder still is the fact that I lived in his shadow. It’s true and we all know it. But there is no good reason to resent it. We shared the same basic convictions. We both wrote, spoke and preached. But, as I have noted before, to say that we did the same thing is like saying a paper airplane and the space shuttle are both man-made flying machines.

There are rare times that I bristle at being under his shadow. I get a smidge annoyed, for instance, when the rare nugget of wisdom that drops from my lips gets attributed to him. I’ve found, however, a pretty good solution to such moments- repentance. I ask my heavenly Father to forgive me for the folly of wanting credit for the things He gave me. And the truth of the matter is, the way my heavenly Father has given me things has mostly been through my earthly father. I don’t just live in his shadow- I am his shadow. That is, any wisdom that comes out of my mouth went into my mind because I was learning from him. And of course, coming from my mouth it is less substantial than coming from his.

God didn’t put me on this planet to make a name for myself, nor to increase the fame of my father. Rather He put me here to pursue His glory. When I preach, teach or write I am not seeking career advancement or attainment. I am instead seeking to serve the kingdom, and its King. It’s true that because of my love and respect for him, I hope always to make my father proud. But I want him to be proud of my fidelity, not my skills.

For many years my father and I had a ritual, a liturgy if you will. Just before he was about to get up and speak at our national conference I would whisper three words into his ear- tell the truth. And ever since when I walk toward a pulpit, sit before a microphone or put fingers to a keyboard I hear him saying the same thing to me. That’s the truth. And that’s why it’s such a blessing living in the shadow of love. I’m perfectly comfortable in his shadow, because there we are together, in His shadow.