I, though if pushed against a wall will come in as a dichotomist, have no special quarrel with trichotomists. I believe we are bodies and souls. But I get why some say we’re bodies, souls and spirits. There are times, in fact, when I find myself dipping my toes in the trichotomist waters. It happens when I consider my sins. There are at least three different planes in which we can find ourselves sinning. We can, and do sin with our bodies, with both the things we do and the things we have left undone. We can and do sin with our thoughts, with both the things we think and the things we have left unthought. We are called to guard our thought lives not just because sin can leak into our bodies but because even when our thoughts stay sealed away we can be in sin. We also, however, can and do sin with our feelings, with both the things we feel and the things we have left unfelt.
At least since the rise of Rousseau’s romanticism we have taken it as self-evident that feelings are things that happen to us, rather than things that come from us. As such, they need no justification. They simply are. This self-evident truth, however, is false. Feelings are things that come from us, not things that happen to us. “I can’t help how I feel” is a thought sin trying to cover a feeling sin. All our attempts to cover our sin inevitably fail before the omniscient eye of our Maker. He knows that we do not, despite His clear command, love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. He is all too aware that we do not, despite His clear command, love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
The inimitable Dr. Jay Adams understood this principle. He found himself counseling a couple struggling in their marriage. The husband explained that he didn’t feel like he loved his wife anymore. The man, frustrated, explained that he had been trying, but that he just found her too annoying. Dr. Adams suggested that he might try moving next door. “A trial separation?” the man asked. “Do you think that would help?” “I don’t know,” Dr. Adams replied. “I do know that God calls you to love your neighbor.” The man turned beet red and through clenched teeth explained, “Look, I’m trying to be polite here, to not be cruel. I don’t love my wife. I don’t like her. I wouldn’t love her or like her if she were my neighbor. The hard truth is I can’t stand the woman.” “Would you say,” Dr. Adams asked, “that you are enmity with her?” “YES!” the man shouted, “Now you understand.” Dr. Adams concluded, “I understand that the Bible commands us to love our enemies.”
How though do we learn to regain some measure of control over our wayward feelings? We repent and believe the gospel. We confess our ugly, unjust, ungrateful, unloving feelings. And we rejoice in the beautiful, unearned, immeasurably lovely grace of God in Christ. We preach to ourselves the gospel. Be careful little ones, what you do. Of course. Be careful little ones, what you think. By all means. But also friend, be careful little ones what you feel.