There are two kinds of church goers in this world, those who simply want to be left alone, and those who long to be a part of a community. There are plenty of churches out there that cater to the first group, and are proud of it. It’s not a bug, but a feature. There are churches out there that cater to the first group, but don’t want to. They just don’t know how to fix the problem. Then there are, albeit few and far between, churches that actually are a community.
Those people looking for community in the church often don’t find it, mostly because it’s not something you find. Imagine you are walking through the woods as the sun begins to set. The temperature drops; the shadows lengthen. You begin to reminisce about earlier times, and soon you have an intense craving for a campfire, complete with graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows. Would you increase your pace, in the hopes that if you cover more ground you might find these things?
Community isn’t something you find. It’s something you build. And you have to do it organically. Turn it into a program and you’ll find rain coming down, matches that won’t light and graham crackers infested with bugs. You don’t, contra the churches in the second group, program community, selling small groups from the pulpit, hawking progressive dinners, and reminding congregants whose last names end in A-L to bring a main dish, and M-Z a side dish and dessert.
Here’s what you do. Are you ready for the secret? You invite a family over for dinner. The whole family. It doesn’t matter what you serve. Hot dogs are fine. Soup, even though everyone knows soup’s not a meal, is good. You don’t have to dress up, wear an Armani suit. Just spend time together around the table, or around a campfire that you build.
That’s step one.
Step two is this- do it again. Invite another family over. There doesn’t have to be an occasion. You don’t have to plan a bunch of party games. Step three, if someone invites you, go. It may feel awkward; it may be inconvenient. You might miss the premiere of season three of your favorite show. But go. Remember also that they will be sinners, just like you are. Remember also that they, like you, are infinitely, immutably, by name, beloved of the Father.
Here is what will happen. You will get to know each other. Next, you’ll come to care about each other. Third, you’ll come to serve each other. Finally, you’ll find yourself naturally and joyfully living out all the “one another’s” Scripture gives us. And you’ll wonder how you ever survived without it.
If your schedule doesn’t have room for shared meals, change it. Take things off your plate that are normal, but don’t feed your soul or serve your brother. If you fear your home or your family doesn’t measure up, do it anyway. It’s not a competition. The prize doesn’t go to the person closest to Martha Stewart but to the one with the warmest welcome. In short, don’t make excuses. Get to work at making joy, and blessing the body.
This is the seventh installment of an ongoing series of pieces here on the nature and calling of the church. Stay tuned for more.