Thesis 43 We must be humble about our ability to understand our neighbors.
One of the great evils of pop psychology, and there are many, is the pop part. That is, as psychology has been repackaged for mass consumption, it has left us all with a faulty understanding of the scope of our knowledge. Psychology promises the nearly God-like ability to see into people’s souls, to assess and judge their motives, to plum the subconscious, and read it like a news report. We’ve been told that we can read people’s body language, to get the message under the message. We put long dead authors on our little couch, pretending such will help us understand their works. And, worse still, we practice this prideful art with our neighbors.
Our pride, however, does not stop here. We not only are fools enough to think we can read other people, but, surprise surprise, what we read there tends to make our neighbor come out like a jerk, while we come out smelling like roses. We slant and twist their behaviors to shift blame to them, while vindicating ourselves. To put it another way, we are all, at heart, junior high girls. You remember these scenarios. Suzie is walking through the mall. She smiles and waves at Cindy, who doesn’t acknowledge the greeting. The next day the story makes the rounds, at school, or on the internet. Suzie declares, “I know Cindy saw me. She didn’t wave back. Cindy is so stuck up.” Of course the truth of the matter is that Cindy might not have seen Suzy. Maybe her glasses were all fogged up. Maybe it wasn’t even Cindy, but just someone who looked like Cindy. Maybe it didn’t even so much look like Cindy, but Suzy’s glasses were fogged up. Or maybe Cindy did see Suzy, but didn’t wave because she was too depressed. Maybe she was grieved over the problem of gossip.
We’re not in junior high any more, but we practice much the same thing. We do not look at facts, but instead put a spin on the facts, all driven by our utter confidence that we know the secrets of others. The Scripture, however, calls us to humility. We need to know our frame. We need to grasp the limits of our knowledge, and recognize our own propensity to spin things in our own favor. Even the disciples, after three years of sitting at the feet of Jesus, didn’t know themselves well enough to see their own way of twisting things during their argument over who would be greatest in the kingdom.
This may seem like a small thing. This, however, is how relationships are broken, friendships destroyed, families separated, even how churches are split. We do not have the humility to know what we cannot know. We do not have the humility to know that we are spinning things. And the love among the brethren is torn asunder, and the devil laughs. Repentance and humility, however, will cause the devil to flee, and cause brethren to dwell together in unity. Repentance and humility are the very oil pouring down the beard of Aaron.