Thesis 69 We must open our families to the family-less.
Each night I gather my precious wife and our two still-at-home sons for prayer before bed. Many nights I pray in thanksgiving for God’s very specific grace in all four of our lives, that He puts the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6). We are a family that has faced more alone-ness than most. But He brought us together.
Not everyone, however, has been given this gift just yet. No one, however, inside the church, should ever feel utterly bereft of family. The church is called to be a family to the family-less. Which can be rather tough to do when the church spends more time studying its demographics than it does the ministry of the Lord. It is virtually a given that any given church must narrow its target audience if it wants to have any success. Some adopt the manners and mores of millenials. Others stake a claim on couples with young children. Even churches, however, that are blessed with a broad demographic tend to divide the body once everyone’s inside. The singles and career meet over there, while the young marrieds hold baby showers for each other, and the golden agers meet every other Wednesday at Denny’s.
Though it doesn’t do so often, the Bible does speak of demographic groups. We are told this, for instance, about young men in the church, that they should be taught by the older men. Not coincidentally, the older women are to be busy about the work of teaching the younger women. When demographics come up in the Bible, God is calling us to come together, not to divide.
It should not be, however, merely different age groups, but also different circumstances. The value of an older widow isn’t just in teaching a women’s Bible study. Perhaps she could be an unofficial grandmother to a young family far from home. That way she not only blesses the younger ones but is blessed in return. The value of a younger man isn’t just in learning from an older man. Perhaps he could help an older couple with some heavy lifting around the house, becoming an unofficial son to the older couple.
I’m not, please understand, suggesting yet another program, a kind of Christian version of Big Brothers. Rather I’m suggesting that our lives should organically reflect the truth of what God has done for us. I’m suggesting that Reformation comes when we live lives in community, when we are one, when we are the body. Who, I am wondering, was at your table Resurrection Sunday? And worse, who ate alone? What better time to open your family to new “members” than when we feast in celebration of our risen elder Brother bringing us into the very family of God?
Don’t know any singles? Then fix that first. Look for them. Greet them. Get to know them. If you are single, you can fix it too. Look for families. Greet them. Get to know them. It’s not magic. It’s not work. It’s life. Let’s share it.
Growing up we always had what my mother called “orphans” at our holiday tables – People whose families were far away, people who had no family, and neighbors and friends whose families couldn’t join them. It was always a feast with lots of laughter and stories. When our children were growing up, we did the same. I think this Easter is the first in many years where we’ve only had our own family and no guests – and it was just 3 of us, as the oldest is deployed and his wife was with her family.
We are getting back to church – outside until the diocese deems it safe enough to enter the sanctuary. 🙄 We are hoping that we can get back to being the church family we like to be – welcome, open, and fun. The cliques will still be there, I’m sure. It’s time to get back to living, laughing, and eating together.