Thesis 73- We must make family to family relationships.
It is not my contention that every single instance of age segregation in the church is a triumph of the devil. The Bible just isn’t that clear or that insistent on the issue. That, I would argue, is because it wasn’t much of an option in those days. The whole notion of demographics, or sub-cultures built around age groups wasn’t a thing. It wasn’t, in fact a thing until the 20th century. There weren’t, before then, generation gaps because people didn’t so much identify with their generation as they did with their family. Family should always precede demographics. Our two dark skinned teenage boys know that before they are dark skinned, teenaged or boys, that they are Sprouls.
I raise this thesis, however, not to scold age segregation but to praise family to family relationships. It’s not so much what I’m against as it is what I am for. Family to family relationships not only allow but encourage individual relationships across generations. When our boys engage Mr. Russu, who is at least sixty years their senior, it is just flat out a beautiful thing, a living, breathing reminder of our common identity in Christ.
You remember that old calumny against homeschooling, that it fails at socialization. Here’s how I deal with that. I ask my accuser, “By socialization you mean the ability to get along with and relate to different kinds of people, right?” Though they may sense a trap they will mostly affirm, “Yes, that’s what I mean.” “And your solution, to make sure children know how to relate to people different from them is to make sure they spend 6 hours a day with kids their age, from their neighborhood? That’s how they’ll learn to get along with different people?” The vast majority of homeschooled children spend more time with people different from them than the vast majority of those educated at the government’s schools.
What if our churches actually encouraged these kinds of relationships? What if you went to church and sat next to a family with a newborn and a 4 year old, while behind you was a couple in their retirement and in front of you were a trio of single young men? What if after the service you found yourselves across the table at a potluck with these same people? What if you made some friends, and invited them over for burgers the next weekend?
They say that Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week across the country. This is true not just about the faux category of race but the faux category of age group. We confess that heaven will be a glorious gathering of every tribe and tongue, that our worship gatherings should look the same. And so it is true of every age and ability.
The best part? You don’t have to start a fight at your church over this. You don’t have to change your church into a family integrated church. All you have to do is be a family integrated family. And all that takes is making friends, a family at a time.