Thesis 78- We must teach our children humility.
Scholars have debated for millennia what Paul’s thorn in his side was. While I can’t prove my theory, I’m confident I know the answer. I think it was kidney stones. When you consider what he called it and the fervency with which he prayed against it, the answer becomes clear. What is equally clear, though painful to admit, is why God chose to not take away that thorn. God said no so that Paul would remember his dependence on God.
Paul, when writing to the church at Corinth, noted that God had not called many who were wise, noble or strong (I Corinthians 1:26). I love how careful Paul is. He didn’t say “none” but “not many.” Surely Paul must have known how strong, how wise, how noble he was. Surely he must have understood how deeply the church depended on him. If he ever forgot, I’m sure the devil was there to remind him, “Look at you Paul. You really are something. Sure, you had that shameful life before your conversion. But now. I mean, come on. Writing more of the New Testament than anyone else. All those churches planted. Audiences with kings. Where would that ragtag band of losers be without you?”
The grace of God gave Paul the thorn in his side that Paul might be blessed with humility. And God, we know, gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Paul moves from grace to grace. Which is just where we ought to be leading our children. As we raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) we should expect them to bypass much of the folly that is common to the youth outside the kingdom. When they do, however, they are likely to fall into the folly that is common to all of us inside the kingdom, pride. They, like we, can very easily end up praying “I thank you Lord that I am not like other men.”
How then do we teach them humility? First, by modeling it. Parents should be the quickest and deepest to repent. As we acknowledge our weaknesses, our failures, the ugliness of sin that remains yet with us, we remind them that we are all in the same boat together. As we rejoice in the grace of God in Christ, throwing ourselves on His mercy, we receive grace and pass it along.
Second, we don’t hesitate to show them their own sin. Somehow we have got it in our heads that if we teach our children sound theology, if we equip them with the doctrines of grace, if they embrace the biblical notion of total depravity, we will have done our job. We miss, and thus they miss this important truth- believing that men are totally depraved is easy, taking no moral courage, no self-inspection. Believing I am a sinner is a whole different matter. Reciting TULIP, however true it is, will lead to pride. Singing, “…that saved a wretch like me” should have the opposite effect.
Our children need to know that we know that neither we nor they are the heroes of the story. We are instead the villains. Only through His grace, by His Spirit, because of His Son are we redeemed, rescued, remade and adopted. Our children need to not just understand the gospel, but to feel it, from head to toe.