Several of my real sins, often liberally mixed with unreal sins, are available for your reading pleasure through the help of Google. Sadly, as effective as Google and sundry attack bloggers are, they have missed too many of my sins. Thus I have determined to go public, in the hopes that the furor will die down before I run for President in 2024. Be prepared to be shocked.
1. I was, as a boy, a habitual player of that ghastly game, “Smear the Queer.” This is a game where a group of children all seek to tackle the one child with the football. I not only played this game, but did so brazenly and openly.
2. I wore blackface. Granted, it was for a part in our Christmas play Amahl and the Night Visitors. I was one of the Wise Men. And I was only doing what I was told. I was seven years old at the time. But I should have known better.
3. I love eating dim sum. You probably don’t know what that is. Good for you. I am left to confess the shame of my cultural appropriation. In my defense, I can’t stand tacos, so I have that going for me.
4. I have eaten meat. And while we’re being honest, I will likely do it again. Most of the time I don’t even try to resist, nor do I feel bad about it.
5. Several of my favorite football players when I was a boy played for the Washington NFL team. I didn’t even have the sense to be embarrassed for cheering those men on. The shame makes my face turn red.
6. I still embrace the same view of marriage that that wicked, regressive, patriarchal monster Hillary Clinton held twenty years ago.
7. I love Chik-Fil-A’s sandwiches, and even more, their fries.
8. I once called a visually challenged friend, in a fit of rage, “Four eyes.”
9. Up until I was seven or eight years old I didn’t believe in the holocaust. Granted, it was only because I had never heard of it. But still, I should have known.
10. I had a time in my life when I was under the spell of homophobia, when my mother warned me, a little boy, about strange men in bathrooms.
Look away from me. I’m hideous.
🤣🤣
To begin your rehabilitation, looks like you should take advantage of Walter Williams’ amnesty proclamation:
http://walterewilliams.com/WalterWilliamsAmnestyProclamation.pdf
What a burden lifted. Thank you.
Hilarious!
Being a native Georgian and living in Atlanta, all I need to know about you is that you confess to your love of Chick-fil-A. Having learned that about you, all else is irrelevant! You are ok in my book!
I love tacos.
I hate dim sum.
And yet we eat in peace, side by side.
I love you. I even love your tacos.
I’m afraid you are beyond redemption sir. We can forgive most everything including eating meat and loving chik fil a but the 4 eyes thing is reprehensible. I’m certain that person is probably psychologically scared for life.😂
You are so brave to admit all that. I’m very proud of you. Unfortunately, I still have to cancel you, Its out of my hands now. “Keep your chin up, it gives the world a better target” my Mom always said. 🙂
“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.”
― Epictetus