I’m not in the least opposed to hypotheticals, and can’t begin to understand why anyone would be. They are, as those who object are prone to point out, not real. We in favor, however, already knew that. That’s why we call them hypotheticals. We can’t, of course, ever know for certain how a given hypothetical would have turned out, if only because we could never lock in all variables. Butterfly effect, and all that. We can, however, learn a thing or two when we consider them.
Today for instance I had some very minor bad news from the doctor. Nothing to worry about. My greater relief, however, came when he explained that it, the very minor bad news, wasn’t my fault. He said it was genetic. I don’t have to try to chase down infinite causes to discern if one bad decision, or many bad decisions led to this very minor bad news. I am off the hook.
That said, while I inherited my natural spiritual state from my parents, I remain responsible for where I’ve allowed that state to lead me. I’ve made moral decisions over the years not only that I regret, but that continue to bear bitter fruit, not only in my circumstances but in my being. When I look back at those moral decisions I realize that the most destructive of them come at a long chain of seemingly not so destructive ones.
Our sins are born, I’m suggesting, less in those momentous choices where the crossroads sit before us, chirping songbirds on one side, storm clouds on the other. They sneak up on us when we don’t notice. We develop what are in their youth innocuous habits that become ravenous hungers when full grown. Small better choices early on reap dividends we’re too blind to see.
I can’t go back in time. I can’t undo what has already been done. It is not, however, too late. Old dogs can learn new habits. The same dividends are yet within reach. Our sanctification is in reality our Jesus-ification. That is, growth in grace is not merely committing this smaller sin rather than that bigger one, or committing this medium sized sin less often than we used to. It goes well beyond what we do, into what we are.
While we can’t change the past, we can “change” the future. We are moving from being dead on the ground to walking upright. We haven’t reached our end yet, but we can get closer. We are called to strive to become each day more what we are becoming more of each day. We walk with the Spirit. We are washed by the Son. And all the while we are beloved of the Father. Why in the world would I want things to be different?
Everything that He has ordained, which is everything that has ever happened or ever will, is for my good and His glory. What if He hadn’t chosen me? Oh but He has. So I need never look into that horror, save to give thanks for His grace.
Thank you for the encouragement. It is good to be reminded that our choices do affect us, and still not be dragged down by it, because His grace is greater. Thank you!