Gossip, for all its destructive power, and the bounty of warning against it in the Bible, still carries with it an image as a cute or entertaining sin. We laugh at the town matriarch who is more effective at spreading information than the world wide web. We indulge in celebrity gossip while reading the headlines at the checkout at the grocery.
We are, however, able to recognize gossip and its destructive power when it comes in its most vicious form. Person A, knowing person B is completely innocent of said sin, nevertheless tells persons C-Z all about what person B supposedly did and why said person should be cancelled. Once we begin to chip away at all the elements, however, we start thinking the gossip is tame. Maybe person A jumped to an unwarranted conclusion about person B, but genuinely thinks him guilty. Maybe person A only told person C under the strictest confidence, and person C is the one who told persons D-Z. Maybe person B is actually guilty of said sin.
All these “mitigating” circumstances do not change the fact that it is gossip, and it is destructive. It doesn’t help the matter in the least. The real problem is that we like to give gossip, often not for the purpose of harming the victim but for the purpose of pleasing the recipient. And the second problem is that we like being the recipient. The two people talking to each other are simply using the one talked about as a means to an end of elevating their own status.
That the problem is so pervasive is no excuse for it being so pervasive. “Everyone does it” says nothing whatsoever about whether it’s okay to do. It’s not, which is precisely why God condemns it both frequently and vehemently in His Word. How then do we fight it?
First, we don’t do it. When I know, or think I know something about person B I need to ask myself a series of questions before sharing it with anyone else. Do I really know it? Could I be jumping to conclusions? Am I trusting information from an unreliable source? Will me telling someone else be a help to person B? If it’s true, if you know its true and if the person you’re telling never tells another, it’s still gossip if the person you are telling has no right and no need to know the information.
Second, we don’t listen to it. This can be tough because even when we try to stop the gossip being offered to us, the gossiper will try to defend his gossip on the grounds that person B did something really, really bad. When we say to the gossiper, “You know what? I don’t really need to hear this. Please don’t go on. If you need to talk to someone about this, I suggest person B” the gossiper, instead of getting the kudos he was expecting has brought shame upon himself. And he desperately wants the focus on person B’s supposed wrongdoing.
Third, repent. I have experienced in spades the destructive power of gossip. My connection to my father makes gossip about me especially juicy. That said, I’ve also created the destruction that gossip creates. I’m guilty of speaking gossip, and listening to gossip. I’m no better than others. Repentance is the beginning of getting better.
That’s it. If nobody tries to excuse it, if nobody tries to speak it, if nobody is willing to listen to it, it will die a swift death before the damage is done.