We all are prone to both legalism and antinomianism. When we want to do something God’s law forbids, we become antinomian. If we want someone else to not do what we think they should not, we become legalists. We add to God’s law to try to restrain the other guy.
Eve was the first legalist, even before she ate the fruit. She told the serpent she and Adam were not to eat the fruit, true, but also they were not to touch it. False. God said no such thing. She added to God’s law. One could argue that not touching it would have been wise, but not that it would have been sin.
That distinction, “Doing X is not a sin, but it is unwise” or “Doing X is not a sin, but it’s not ideal” likely has some legitimate applications. Were I to live on a diet of twinkies someone might try to say I am in sin by reminding me that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6: 19-20). That argument, I’d argue, would fall to the ground on the basis of Colossians 2:6. There Paul commands us not to judge one another over what we eat or drink. What we’re left with is unwise, or not ideal but not a sin.
This solution carries with it, however, a bevy of dangers that come along for the ride. Too often, “The Bible doesn’t say X is a sin, but I believe X is unwise” translates to “You are in sin, and I don’t need to demonstrate it from the Bible.” I’ve seen it a hundred times. “I’m not saying it’s a sin to divorce an unfaithful spouse, but God hates divorce.” “It’s not a sin to marry someone from another culture, but it’s generally unwise.” “Smoking cigars isn’t a sin, according to the Bible, but it isn’t ideal.”
Though this is decidedly impious, I call this approach being more pious than God. Those who speak in this way are essentially saying, “God doesn’t forbid this, but I do.” We are the Pharisees. Too often we succumb to those who would spy out our freedom (Galatians 2:4). We take on the yokes of men.
Some years ago I received a call from a pastor friend. I was, at that time, serving as editor of Tabletalk magazine. My friend was quite upset with me because I had tapped a man in his presbytery to write an article for us. That man, he explained, was undergoing a divorce that the presbytery had not yet ruled on, whether it was biblical or not. While they spent time trying to answer that question, they advised the man not to do any public ministry.
My reply was simple. First, how could I have possibly known that? Second, where is the sin on my part, or his part? “Well, he didn’t submit to the presbytery” he said. “Oh my,” I replied. “I must have misheard you. I thought you said presbytery advised him to not do any public ministry.” “Yes,” my friend said, “that’s exactly what I said.” “Where then is the failure to submit?” “Writing the article was the failure to submit.” “Did the presbytery,” I asked, “forbid him or advise him?”
I went on to explain to my friend that if the presbytery was unwilling to give the writer a command, they can’t grumble if he doesn’t take its advice. We all want the power to control people without the responsibility of defending it. People are eager to judge others for sins they can’t find in the Bible.
My advice to you. No, God’s command to you is that you not put burdens on people that He does not require. That you not judge others for having differing preferences from your own in adiaphorous places. That when the Bible calls us to prophetically thunder God’s Word, “Thou shalt not…” that we thunder it. Otherwise, judge not.