The Bride Wore Black: Protesting Our Pride

A week or so ago the folks at Protestia tweeted this:

Better to marry a former OF model who has come to know the depths of her sin and the mercy of the Lord, than an unkissed virgin with a haughty look and a proud heart.

I do not personally know anyone at Protestia. We would have plenty of disagreements, and plenty of agreements. My goal is not to comment on them, but to comment on the tweet. It provoked hundreds of responses, many of them negative. Which, frankly concerns me. I thought though it might be helpful to break it down.

God gave few biblical restrictions on who can marry whom. Believers may only marry believers; boys must marry girls. Finally, the two must not be too closely related. Which brings us to the first point of clarification.

We lack the ability to read souls with complete accuracy. Which is why we should, in making these kinds of judgments, acknowledge the difference between professing believers and actual believers. I’d argue that the language of the tweet does not allow us to put the first woman in the category of a mere professing believer. She knows the mercy of the Lord. She is not experiencing mere remorse, but genuine Spirit given repentance.

The second person, on the other hand, could fit into either category. A haughty look and a proud heart could certainly mean this professing believer hasn’t come to actual saving faith. Or, it could be this actual believer struggles against haughtiness and pride. Believers are not beyond any sin, much less haughtiness and pride. Nor should they be treated as such.

If she is a believer, one could presumably make the case that at the very least, this isn’t an easy call. We’re comparing the hardships of someone carrying baggage from repented of grievous sin with the hardships of someone still battling grievous sin. Not the same grievous sin. Not the same level of wickedness on the sin. This, however, is mitigated by one being the past, the other in the present.

In this scenario the tweet’s claim may still be true. If, however, the comparison is between a true believer with deep past sins and an unbeliever who has led a “clean” life, the choice is not only obvious, but biblically required. How could anyone possibly object? Out of pride and haughtiness.

This tweet hit a nerve. We live in an age in the church where we think our sin is small and the sins of others are great. When, while Christ covers our sins, Christians delight to expose them. Where we’re willing to “forgive” others’ sins, but unwilling to look past them. We don’t believe in the power of the gospel, seeing it as a small answer to our small problem, our small sins. We’ve lost sight of the depth and scope of our own capacity to sin, both before we’ve been redeemed and after.

God, remember, not only commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute, but, to go and rescue her when she, having been saved, went back to her old life. Rahab, Gomer, David, Peter, Mary Magdelene, the thief on the cross, rescued porn producers, rescued porn consumers, and me. We’ve all together been made by His grace, His bride.