What’s the best decision you made in the last five years?

Responding to a message. No doubt about it. A person I had never met came to me online for counsel during a difficult time. I offered what counsel I could over the course of a few years. Then I brought scandal crashing down around me. That scandal prompted me to take a hiatus from all communication, private or public, on the internet. I explained to the person I had given counsel to that I would no longer respond. I was going radio silent, and I was sorry.

Over the course of the next months this person continued to send messages, updating me on everything from legal proceedings to the weather. I did not respond. I did, however, slowly creep back on to the inter-webs, ending my exile. Still, I did not respond. Then, this person sent me a message reading, “RC, have I done something to offend you, that you don’t reply to my messages?” And there I found myself at a crossroads.

If I don’t respond this person might carry an unnecessary burden, perhaps even some unwarranted guilt. If, on the other hand, I did reply, well, then she might come to know how much her messages had meant to me. I might begin to open up. I might end up risking actually getting to know her, and be known by her. Terror. Yet, I responded. And I began to open up. Still only typing, never talking, trying to keep what defenses I had in place, I responded. By His grace, and to His glory and for my good, I responded.

It was a difficult decision. What makes it the best decision, however, wasn’t that I chose rightly while tempted to choose wrongly. What makes it the best decision is the fruit that was born out of that decision. That person to whom I responded is now my wife, my best friend, my strength, my deepest blessing, my joy, my comfort, my one safe place, my partner, the love of my life, my soul-mate. She was used of God to lift me out of the grave I had dug for myself. She is used of God to inspire me.

Everything changed that day, five years ago today. We’ve faced plenty of hardships, and losses but we have faced them together. We have shared laughter and joy. And we look forward with confidence in the abiding grace of God.

I shudder to think where I would be, or even if I would be, had I chosen differently that day. I know this- I’d be without my beloved bride. Coming to saving faith creates the greatest eternal swing imaginable, moving from eternal torment to eternal bless. Short of that, no decision in the last five years, or the last fifty-five years has been a deeper blessing and created a greater change than this one. I, by His grace, answered. I, by His grace, opened up. And she, as His grace, has welcomed me, embraced me, loved me. I cherish her.