What’s Your Number?

Psychology, being something of a murky social science, has long been a source of murky attempts to diagnose not just what is wrong with us, but what we are. Pop psychology, especially seems to specialize in personality tests. We carry around with us sundry names and numbers derived from tests we take complete with ovals to fill in with number 2 pencils. What could be more scientific? Meyers Brigs gave me these four letters. Gary Chapman found me in this part of the zoo. I was choleric until they took my spleen and suddenly I became sanguine.

By and large I consider these tests to be a generally benign waste of time. So long as they are understood as little more than the type of quizzes one finds on the internet, “Which Mayberry character are you?” no harm is done. When however, we treat these tests as powerful tools of insight into our true identity, there we start falling into danger. Enter the Enneagram.

Surely the most popular personality profiler of our day, Enneagram, while claiming to reveal our personality type, can’t even claim psychology as its birthplace. Rather, the whole thing came from a purported revelation from a spirit guide. A demon. It is just another example of unbelievers’ minds be handed over to futility, on par with horoscopes and magic crystals.

The problem is that this same foolishness has made deep inroads into the church. Sometimes it’s just a lighthearted quip from the pulpit, “Of course I preach longer than you’d like. After all, my Enneagram is a 7.” Other times, however, the Enneagram is used as the foundation of church events, teachings, counseling. Some churches see the Enneagram as a touch point with the broader culture, an opportunity to demonstrate how hip and up to date our church is. Some seem to genuinely believe that real insights into people’s souls can be had. I saw recently an ad for a conference starring a Christian celebrity built around the Enneagram. It’s bad enough to do such things, but to do them with no shame is all the worse.

We should not, however, be surprised. Even a cursory study of the people of God in the Old Testament demonstrates that even believers have a deep propensity to practice various forms of syncretism. We mix together the worship of the living God with the worship of the spirit of the age. The Enneagram, in addition to its diabolical roots, feeds that same spirit of self-absorption and the spirit of victimization. It allows us to both celebrate and explore ourselves and deflect blame for our failures. “I had to end our marriage. I’m a 3 and you’re a 9.”

Nadab and Abihu learned the hard way the dangers of playing with fire. Leviticus 10 tells us that God struck them, His priests, dead on the spot for bringing strange fire into the sanctuary. We need to learn to steer clear of such dangerous games. What’s my number? I’m a 0.

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